And so it begins

First up, I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome you to the blog. Come in, take a seat and make yourself at home. I'll get you a cup of tea.... Yes I am well aware, as you hopefully are, that this is not a physical realm. There is no seat for you. And, while I'm at it, get your own bloody tea!

That's enough of a digression. Time to get to the point (you will no doubt soon grow to be aware that this an entirely empty promise):

Now, being merely an average person, at best, this blog is merely likely to be a catalogue of meanderings of little substance or consequence. If you've read to this point you will already be aware of the veracity of my own assessment. This is no attempt at self-pity, I assure you. I am comfortable in my average nature. I embrace it. In fact, should there ever be a competition to decide the Most Average Person In The World, I'm likely to be the man beneath the tiara come ceremony's end. And therein lies the problem....

You see, should I gain this title, I would attain some measure of the extraordinary. Such a prize, therefore, would, by the very nature of its being bestowed upon me, elevate me beyond the realm of the ordinary. As such, I would surely be stripped of my title as Most Average Person In The World by virtue of earning the title. In fact, being stripped of such an award would surely raise my profile (within average circles) yet more, pushing me further away from my ilk. As a consequence, the crown would need to be passed to next in line, who too would lose the accolade as a result. And so on down the line until it reaches a point whereby being removed from this office would become the norm, rendering me eligible for the title once more!

Yep, this is what was on my mind....

In closing, I'd just like to say....I'm sorry.