Monday, January 6, 2014

Novel Approach

A surprising number of people have been spending an equally surprising number of years trying to get me to write a book. So, here are some tentative steps in that direction. I present to you the following excerpts from some literary irons I've got in the fire....of words. Yep, words can be  fire, forging stuff, junk, and whatnot....OK, maybe not in this instance. Still, try to enjoy.
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Story I: Clear

Blurred images faded into focus, softly at first, but then with a jarring intensity that shook him from his lethargy.

"Hel....hello? Can you....what's....come back!"

Drowsiness gave way to consciousness, as terror sprung from his confusion. Stretching out a tentative foot from his bed, Jim attempted to follow her out. He could not know of the weakness in his legs, as his balance would desert him immediately. The force with which his head struck the cold floor threw him once more into the darkness. This time, only for moments, although how long was anyone's guess. She was there again.

Watching.

"What is going on!? For fuck's sake would you answer me!? LOOK AT ME!"

She stumbled from the room, as he tried desperately, almost forlornly, to catch her eye. Jim clambered uncomfortably to his knees and crawled after her, his plaintive cries bouncing back at him through the echoes of the empty halls that greeted him. Vast nothingness. Desolate, yet maintained. Silent yet clearly not abandoned.

A hospital. Where, was everybody?

He crawled further, struggling, straining,  battling to his feet. He couldn't support his own weight easily and his legs were little help in that regard. He clutched awkwardly at, and lunged from every surface he could reach as he fought his way round the corner. There were people everywhere but who were they? They looked not like doctors, nor nurses. All were dishevelled, unkempt and shuffling awkwardly with heads lowered at uncomfortable angles. It was as if nobody was aware of the world around them. He muttered to himself, and moistened his lips to ask for some kind of assistance when....

Dragged backwards through an open doorway, his weak body offering little resistance as the hand tightly clasped his lips, only his eyes could scream. He relaxed into his fate. There was no energy to fight for his life. When had he last been at rest? Release.

"Are you mad!? You don't talk to them. Idiot!"

This man's words, shouted in a whisper were those of a man frightened.

"Why? The fuck is happening!?" What's wrong with them?"

"Coma?"

"What? What do you mean, "coma"? They're in comas?"

"Ha! No, you. You were in a coma, I think. Makes sense I suppose. Can you walk?"

The stairs. Memories from the vacuum. He could remember tripping. That damn football! Still, a coma? How did that explain this? Any of this?

"Wait....what the fuck is going on!?"

"Jesus. How long were you out? What day is it in your world, mate?"

"June, June, I think. 27th? Yeah, the 27th, I guess."

"Oh man, you have no clue. Should have known by how you were gonna fucking speak to them. Those freaks. They're barely people, not anymore. Why the fuck did you think there was nobody willing to look at you? Come on, man, you were invisible to them."

"What? Fucking zombies or some bullshit? Come on!"

"You're not a total horror cliche, you fuckwit. Zombies? Well....actually, I guess you could say so. You've been out for almost six months. Happy Christmas. Those....those THINGS out there? They're not like us, but they're not your Romero-type zombies. They won't hurt anyone. You though. You are the danger to them. Fuck, man! The shock of acknowledgement could have killed them."

"Could you please stop farting about and tell me what this is already!? Why is everyone out there shuffling around, staring at their feet? Why are they all so scared to look at anyone or talk? They haven't washed in....WHAT HAPPENED?"

"The church was first to fall. Religion could only hold up against so much. Then the government. Then it trickled down. Nobody was safe. Everyone living in their own bubbles now. Looking at someone else after that? No chance. Not for most." 

It had been five months since everybody's internet browser history had been made public.
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Future Reviews:

"Utterly devastating. You won't sleep for days." The Guardian

"Redefines fear for the modern age." The List
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Story II: Tickets to Paradise

So there I was, marooned in this shitty little life. My parents? Divorced. Friends? Non-existent. Love life? Made it to second base once....if we're counting the imaginary girl from two towns over I hooked up with last summer when I was in my room playing games. Academically, though? Academically, I was set. Still, with dad's wallet stretched to breaking to keep my future stepmom's legs doing the same, and with mom having to work two dead-end jobs just to keep our heads above water, I didn't like my chances of getting to college. Maybe a summer job could help. I could get some money put away in my savings account and maybe even get out of the house for a bit. My home-life was not so conducive to happiness, after all.

I got a job working box office at some theatre downtown. Mr Shortly, the owner, was known to run a breakdancing masterclass out the back. Didn't seem likely to be the toughest job. I'd sit on my ass all day, see some shows maybe and get one step closer to my dream bank balance for the year. Easy.

I had no idea how that summer would change everything.

"Hey, new kid."

"Er....hi."

"Ever, notice how whenever you try to say 'no bother' to a customer you somehow manage to pronounce it as 'no butter'? Weird that. Anyway, you can probably stop staring at her ass now."

"What? I....I wasn't. I didn't mean to...."

She was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. She had this long blonde hair that just boggled the mind. How were people this pretty in real life? And the smile? That smile just....wait, where was I?

"It's OK, little buddy. Maybe she'll even give you a shot. Hell, she's slept with everyone here."

"Um....huh?"

"Cobo, man. That's Cobo."

"Why do you....call her Cobo?"

"Ha! Well, because anyone with a credit card can pick her up at this box office! Come to the party at my parents' beach house next weekend, She'll be there. It's like an annual event, It's the Batch Print Party, bro."

"The....Batch Pr...."

"An orgy of tickets....only we'll be the tickets, little man."
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Future Reviews:

"A sassy, spicy coming of age romp. Everyone has their defining summer in this feel good hit." The Sun
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Story III: Vamp

She shifted in her bed. The sheets fell free, yet she had not backed away. She was at ease. No fear.

"You know what I am. You've always known. The reasons I am as I am around you. Lingering in the shadows. You've always felt it. The looks, longing, fearful. You know why I am here. " his eyes implored her to speak.

"Since I first saw you. You're a vampire." came her reply, with her words never causing her gaze to break from his.

"Yes, but...."

"You don't need to say it, Thomas." she interjected softly, "I understand. I sensed it from the first moment. This attraction. It must be difficult for you. I'm 17 and you're....?"

"164, but Stephanie let me...."

She pressed her finger to his lips.

"It's okay. I want this. I don't care what it takes. I want us to be together."

"What? Fuck, Stephanie! Really? You picked up that I'm a vampire but....? Come on! I'm old enough to be your great grandfather's creepy elderly neighbour who never leaves his house in the daytime. And yet, I look like....this? Do you have any idea how much time and effort it takes to look this good, without a reflection? And you think I'd do that just to skulk around some teenage girl's bedroom? I'm gay, you cretin!"

"But....but....the looks. The....why are you here if not to declare your undead love for me?"

"Er....hey, quick joke. How do you kill a circus?"

"Huh? I...."

And with that, he lunged for her exposed neck and tore open her jugular, killing her almost before she knew.

"You go for the juggler. Kids today. 'Undead love'!? I was just hungry."
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Future reviews:

"When i saw this book, I felt that we finally had our 'Twilight'. That was, until I read it. The author is sick." ScotsGay magazine.
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Story IV: Cretaceous Land

"Welcome to Cretaceous Land. We spent a lot of money."

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Future reviews:

"Cease and desist." The Estate of Michael Crichton
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So these are the ideas I'm hoping to flesh out into best-selling, multiple award winning novels. I'm not sure on the film rights just yet though.

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